Lessons in Fear From a 5 and 2 Year Old
"For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline" 2 Timothy 1:7
Lesson One: Coloring on the wall
I have watched Mallory and Peyton together more times then I
can count, and for the most part they are really good. Mallory plays with and
teaches Peyton stuff that she wouldn’t listen to me about. I give Mallory a lot
of credit for how verbal Peyton is… trying to keep up is strong motivation. They
play for hours and Mallory is usually so responsible and really looks out for
Peyton. Welp a few weeks ago we were spending another fun summer day together
and I ran to the restroom. I come back and there Peyton is sitting on the couch
with a crayon in hand coloring on the wall. Mallory runs to me and says “Peyton
colored on the wall…. Look how good her number 4 is” Without thinking I blindly
accept this at face value and sweep up Peyton for time out. We discuss not
coloring on the wall and she cries etc… It is only upon further investigations
that I realize that there is NO WAY the two year old drew that number four.
Mallory held firm that she didn’t draw anything despite the best efforts of her
parents and myself. Finally after about 45 minutes she told the truth. Why did
she lie? Obviously not because she is a bad kid. She is as sweet as they come.
I believe she did it out of fear. She was afraid how we would all react. Afraid
what we would think of her.
Then I got to thinking that we do the same thing as adults.
We do things we regret and then out of fear don’t own up. I am fairly certain
that they starting coloring and then Mallory realized it was wrong and reacted quickly
to protect herself. She really felt better AFTER she told the truth. One of the
hardest things is to admit when we are wrong, but letting that out and
apologizing is hard but liberating.
"It is highest form of self-respect to admit our errors and mistakes and make amends for them. To make a mistake is only an error in judgment, but to adhere to it when it is discovered shows infirmity of character" -Dale Turner
Lesson Two: Potty Training
What has taken Peyton so long to potty train? Fear. Never
really thought about being afraid of the toilet but here we are. She is afraid
of any potty that doesn’t have her seat on it, and afraid to poop in the potty.
Apparently this is all normal. Kids are afraid to let go of a part of themselves?
Never would have thought of it that way. Maybe I did when I was 2 ½ who knows,
but it is a common thing.
That also got me thinking. How many times in my life do I do
something or not do something because I am afraid of what will happen. I mean I
have weird fears, like my fear of birds for example, but that is not what I
mean. How many times do we turn down opportunities to grow and try new things
because they are scary? How many times do we not do something because we are afraid about what other people will thing? I think many of us do. I know I have many times in my
life. I have been trying to be more self aware about these things and how I
make decisions. Don’t not do something because you are afraid. Try! Be Brave!
Try things that bring joy to your life even if other people think it is stupid.
You only get one chance don’t waste it being afraid. This is isn't the same thing as being reckless. I am not saying you shouldn't be smart about what you do and how it effects others. But stop worrying about what other people think. Stop worrying about how everyone else we react. Live your life. I am trying very hard to do this in my own life, and maybe even more importantly I want to raise my child to try. It is ok to fail, but don't spend life on the sidelines!
“Life is short, break the rules,
forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never
regret anything that made you smile. Twenty years from now you will be more
disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off
the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your
sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” - Mark Twain
