As from a previous post, I was very concerned about what having another kid would be like for Peyton. I had read on some forums about kids her age who kinda go off the deep end. Won't sleep, bite, kick or hit their moms, or even just become depressed and act out for attention. She has always been our whole world and for the most part the center of attention, and now we were adding this tiny little baby who was going to need so much attention. (well first he wasn't nearly as tiny as she was ;) )
Well he is here. He couldn't be cuter and we couldn't love him more. And he does need a lot of attention as expected, but while this has created a huge change for her I don't think it's been bad for her. I had two very quick lessons about how capable, well adjusted and smart my oldest is. Simple lessons, but clearly I don't give her enough credit.
She has been able to write her name for a while now, but has always insisted she can't write her y's well enough and that we needed to help her. So I bought her writing books, and we would sit down together and I have helped her and helped her. She still wouldn't even try the letter y without it to trace or us holding the pen together. Then during Nolan's first week home, when he wanted to be fed every 45 mins and I couldn't help her and work on writing like I normally do, that is when she just did it on her own. She asked for some paper (which she does all the time so I thought nothing of it) and she just started writing y's and then her whole name with the y. She was SO PROUD. Not only had she done it, but she did it by herself. No one even suggested she try.
My second lesson came the next day. I pretty much always go with her to the bathroom. I want to make sure she wipes well and there are no messes. Also to make sure she washes her hands well. Once again I was feeding Nolan and I realized I hadn't seen Peyton in about five minutes. All of a sudden I hear running water. So I scoop up Nolan and going as quickly as a c-section recovering mommy can, hurry to the bathroom. She is standing on a step stool at the sink washing her hands. "Don't worry mommy I went potty all by myself. You were busy and I can do it." She had gotten a step stool (which I was using to get in and out of bed) and gone to the bathroom….. and washed her hands all by herself. She didn't need me at all.
I realized through these and countless other small things that have happened in the last 2.5 weeks that while she does need us, she also needs me to let her explore. Let her fall, let her try and she can come around and do things on her own. She doesn't need me to constantly hover. I didn't realize how much I was limiting her until I couldn't anymore. Nolan has forced me to allow her to be more independent, and for the most part she is doing awesome.
I still try everyday to carve out a few minutes that are just for us. A little chunk of time every day where she gets my attention first. Plus Jared and her have had a blast doing even more stuff together and I think it has brought them closer together too.
She LOVES being a big sister and brags about it to everyone. She sings to him if he cries, and if he is awake sits with him and talks to him and plays with him. He will quickly turn his head from me to watch her and I can already see the sibling bond forming.
So in the end Nolan has been great for her!
