Nolan will be one! In about a week. I have often heard the phrase the days can be long but the years are short....This is so true.
A very good friend of mine, who I will not name as I didn't ask permission, is dealing with a difficult time in her life. However for this time to end and life to get easier she will eventually lose something she loves very much. So yesterday at lunch we talked about how hard that is. To want to get to an easier place but still live in the moment and realize that getting to an easier place means the loss of something. Something you can't get back....
That's how I feel about the first year of my babies life. Please do NOT get me wrong. I LOVE infant snuggles and I LOVE watching them change each and every day. But it is HARD! And if you say it isn't you either have more help then me, are lying, or I don't know what other option there is. I lived the first six months or so of each of my child's lives sleep deprived as we all do but this makes me a little crazy. I worry about EVERYTHING. I mean I worry about everything anyway..... but hormones and lack of sleep take it to a new level. But I have realized, much more with the second then the first, how worth it it is. I have tried to hold on to every snuggle when I rock him and every baby giggle I get from him realizing that for both the good and the bad this to shall pass. He will be 2 before I know it just like he is 1 and I don't think I barely blinked.
My message in all this, 100 percent to myself. because I am truly not sure anyone else reads this, is that while I can't go out like I used to, or drink a hot cup of coffee in the morning, or sometimes be quite as present at work, or sleep in, or feel carefree (almost ever) or, or ,or...... I am lucky. Lucky to have two awesome kids, be married to my best friend, have a roof over my head, have an extended family I love and who loves and supports me, live down the street from the best friends in the world etc etc.... I honestly don't have the right to complain. I have more to be thankful for then to be stressed about. WAY MORE. And that could change at any moment (again I tried to tell you I worry). So today I say to myself and everyone.... let's try to be in the moment. Even if that moment is covering your hair with throw-up at 2am (yes that happened recently) and even if that moment means (insert extended family member here) is driving you crazy. How lucky am I to have them?
Very........
