I learned a lot in this last month. As stressful and big changes usually do, it forced me to examine things. There are definitely things even as a second time mom you realize you have forgotten, didn't listen to others about and then the list that people don't talk about. Here's my top ten...
1. You really do want to hold that baby all the time. All I want to do is snuggle with him. I don't co-sleep because I am scared of the danger of it, but even a month in and even when I am exhausted I have to talk myself into laying him down so that he can get rest and so can I.
2. The sleep deprivation sucks! This kid sleeps about as well as a baby can and I am still exhausted. Not quite hallucinating like I am pretty sure we both did with Peyton, but it still sucks. Those 8-10 hours are amazing and you forget how amazing until they are taken away.
3. "Breast is best"unless it is making you crazy, hate your life and even angry at a new born. Oh and if your kid has allergies and it seems no matter what you are doing you feel like you are poisoning him. Then not so best. Mothers face more pressure from society to do things in a certain way then maybe any other group. Everyone has an opinion about the best way to raise your child....even people you don't know. And people who have NEVER RAISED A CHILD!!! It makes it hard to make a rational choice sometimes. In the end you have to do what works best for your child..... we are now on formula. Everyone in this house is functioning better... including my child's tummy!
4. Once again your dogs become that.... dogs. Don't get me wrong I love our animals but seriously they bark at the wrong times, the jingle their stupid collars and WAKE UP THE BABY!!!!!!
5. There is NO TIME! I forgot how little time there is for anything! Sleep when they baby sleeps... HA! First you have to convince the baby to sleep somewhere other then your arms. (Thankfully this is going much better the second time). But when do dishes get done, laundry get washed, oh and your older child get attention?!?!? Right... when the baby sleeps! So no..... unless it is after 10pm and before 7am I do not get to sleep when the baby sleeps. And even in those hours I find myself listening to his breathing making sure he is ok.... deep sleep might return some day....
6. The baby wants you.... not just someone to hold him but you. Jared is a GREAT and hands on dad, but there are times that only mommy will do. You have spent the last 9 months together and you are the one with the right smell, right voice and right touch. Sometimes only you can comfort him. This is both AMAZING and AWFUL all at once. It means that you can't always catch a break even when help is around. However it sure is a reward for those 9 months that sometimes just your arms around him instantly stop the crying. And if Peyton is any indication this continues..... until at least 3 and half and counting.
7. Everyone else seems to forget how hard it is. If you put on a tough face and keep moving they forget you had major surgery (c-section here) or that you are hormonal as all get out... you just had a baby! The world thinks this ends in like a week.... HA!
8. Your body sure takes a while to come back. I forgot how long it took to get back in my pants after Peyton. I am now remembering!! But who has time to cook and shop for healthy food with two kids. I was doing good working out.... now Peyton is sick with a fever and we have to keep them separated so he doesn't get sick. There goes what time I had found this last week!
9. You are TRAPPED. Not everyone will agree with me on this. Some moms don't get trapped. But I am. Trying to keep your under 2 month old from getting sick means keeping him home (unless he has a germy 3.5 year old sister then it means keeping him in your room). You are regulated by a feeding schedule and his need to be kept healthy to avoid something serious at such a young age. There are great things to this... LOTS of snuggle time and bonding time with you and your baby. But for an on the go person, who LOVES to travel and coach her summer team in July there is another part of you that feels trapped. I wouldn't trade the time with him and I wouldn't give it up for the other things I love, because I know I will never EVER get these days back. And I am much more aware of how fast they go this time.
10. You have never loved anything so much...AGAIN. They steal your heart. I didn't think I could have room to love another being like I do Peyton. But as my sister told me it is like your heart just creates another space.... when he was born I just had more love. Didn't divide it... God just gave me more to hand out. It is an amazing feeling again. Worth every bit of sickness, swelling, and discomfort over the last 9 months. And it is worth everything we sacrifice as mom's and more. No doubt and every time!
So to my fellow moms of babies.... Soak it all up b/c they are not infants very long AND it is ok to need a minute and a shoulder to cry on!!!! (I am really telling myself this more then anyone else!)
And the 45 min nap is over....... I probably should have done laundry.....
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